Neo-New Sawatari-san! (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
abysmalactor) wrote2015-10-17 11:56 pm
abysmalactor) wrote2015-10-17 11:56 pm
RYSLIG | IC INBOX
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, neonewtheatre. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** neonewtheatre has joined 018.07.154.55 <neonewtheatre> wwelcom one and aal to my sstage. <neonewtheatre> ill fix tthis later when my hands arnet mincmeat ok | ||||
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[Well, it's a lot of things, but it's also a lot of things that Yuzu doesn't want to hear. Or won't believe if she hears it. They both amount to the same thing at this point.
The fact that Yuzu's hands won't stop shaking is the only thing that keeps her from successfully prying her tail free. With how hesitantly Sawatari's holding on, he's not sure whether to see this as a blessing or a curse. All he really knows at this point is that so many of their number have drifted away this past year-one after the other after the other, and every time it happens he has to see Yuzu cry like this, and now he's seeing it again only this time she's the one vanishing from the house by her own will, and that makes things all the worse.
He doesn't want that to happen.]
Look, I...I know you and I didn't get off on the right foot way, way, waaaaaay when we first met and all, and even when we met again here, in Ryslig things were still really rocky, and we keep fighting like this on and off again because I mess up, and, er-
[Gee. He's not really building a good case for himself, is he. It's not really like his usual bumbling, dramatic speeches, either, instead it's clunky and rambling, and somehow almost frantic now that he's been caught into Yuzu's pace rather than setting his own stage. He seems to realize this, and takes a deep breath before continuing. Even so, the question comes out hesitant, softer than before.]
I mean, what I'm saying is, uh, after all this time, after everything that's happened...do...do you think that I'm...still the kind of person that would willingly...hurt you?
[It's a quiet question in stark contrast to his frantic begging from before, and after voicing it he feels awkward, unable to project his usual confidence in receiving an answer. He can't expect anything from this, this isn't a back and forth between his lackeys, or the audience, and he's not entirely sure he's going to like any of the answers she can give him.
He can't keep eye contact with her and instead looks to the floor, running one hand through his mane in a practiced, but shaky motion.]
I...if you really think that, if you say I am, then...
[He sighs, and lets both his hands drop to his sides, still not raising his head to meet her.]
I'll...I'll let go.
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She still feels nauseous, dizzy for hurt; her head is pounding, and the air in her throat is too dry. The wrong foot... what a pleasant way to put it. The Shingo she first met was just Sawatari, politician's son who insulted her school and hurt her friends, tricking Yuya into believing they could be friends just to get at his strange cards... after that it was just one time after another of trying to show Yuya up, trying to get the upper hand, trying to place himself as Yuya's "rival" ... save for protecting Yuya from further harm, nothing Sawatari had done in Maiami ever concerned Yuzu — even the time he'd "kidnapped" her had been for Yuya's sake.
It has been different here. It's been different here for a long time — possibly since the day he arrived, so long ago. Even then, it was different, but he'd done so much for her since. He always tried so hard to support her, to be there for her — to listen to her troubles and help her through her struggles, to be a support when she otherwise tried to do so many things alone. And now, with Shun gone, with Yuya gone, with so few of their friends remaining... now, of all times, wasn't he focused so much more on her?
Her arms crossed, hands tucking in against her ribs in a self-hug, a self-restraint; her wings curved inward, shrinking her appearance at the threshold when she already seemed so small. Tears still evaporated at her lashes. ]
You get cocky... you make mistakes. Thinking you wouldn't get caught....
[ A yes and a no, without saying either. But she hasn't moved from where her feet grip the floor, a fire that flickers on its steady wick. ]
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The answer isn't a yes or a no, so he doesn't have an immediate answer for it-if he even had one to begin with. Frankly, he doesn't even register what she said for a few minutes, only watching Yuzu get smaller (farther away? leaving? maybe), so when the words do catch up with him from what feels like an innumerable distance, it almost feels ludicrously late when they do.]
Ehehe...
[He can't help but chuckle sheepishly at those words. Even when she's on the verge of breaking down, she's that harsh, huh?]
Er, that does happen, doesn't it...? You'd think someone like Sawatari-san wouldn't get caught~, neh? [It lacks his usual bravado, but there's something light in his tone, and something familiar in the way he curls his fingers in his mane.]
But I guess that did happen...mah, that Madoka sure did catch me, huh? [He doesn't even think about how incriminating those words sound, instead finally pulling his hand out from the mane to put to his lips while his brow furrows in thought, apparently talking to himself out loud.] Or, well-technically, she caught Reira, but she caught me by proxy back then too, so I guess that's the same...
[What is he even talking about. Is he even on the same level as Yuzu at this point...?]