abysmalactor | RYSLIG

What would happen with-what?

[He can't feel the heat, but there's sweat trickling down the back of his neck anyway. Hell...what did he do to get into this?]

Jeez...can't you just tell me what's eating you? You're acting like I should understand, but I don't-I can't figure it out!

[There it is, all over again. Yuzu refusing to communicate, Sawatari being unable to understand, just like the old days. Over and over and over again.]

[ Too stubborn to change her path, to learn from her mistakes — burning bridge after bridge until there's no connections left. A volcanic island, isolated at sea.

There's steam in her eyes. ]

I was there, you idiot! Did you really think I would ever forgive you for joining her?

Huh...? I haven't joined up with any...

[Joining her. Her. There's only one person-or well, he should say being-that Yuzu would be so vehemently biased against, and as he puts a hand to his chin in thought, it's easy to see the realization dawn in his eyes.]

Oh. Ohhhhhhhh.

[Oh. Right. Yuzu works there. Ha. She did spot that little meeting, didn't she? Sawatari chuckles awkwardly.]

So that's what this is about...

[ Where does she keep that fan, anyway? Because one moment she's standing across the room from Sawatari, her hands balled into fists at her side, and the next she's nearly atop him, swinging the folded paper of her slapstick fan with all the force of a baseball bat, a sledgehammer, a battleaxe. It's a miracle that the fan itself hasn't caught fire, from how hot her anger burns.

That kind of nonchalant admission — doesn't he understand what he's done? How clueless, how idiotic is he? She doesn't know what hurts worse, the betrayal now, or how this filter of light changes every scene that came before.

She smacks him with the fan a second time for good measure before throwing it aside, hurt coalescing and bubbling up from her chest, tightening around her throat and in her face and at her eyes, tears burning in her eyes. It hurts just to breathe.

What's left that she can't leave behind? Once she crosses back through that threshold and pulls the door shut behind her, he won't be able to follow her anymore. With unsteady balance, she turns back to the desk. Just the horns, imbued with her holy magic... if she has to leave her journals behind, so be it, but she can't stay here any longer. ]

Yowch-!

[Whatever reaction he was expecting from Yuzu...it wasn't that. The fan...to be hit like that is so jarringly normal, so much a relic from the past, that it almost doesn't fit a serious argument like this. He'd laugh, if he didn't feel like he'd somehow be offending Yuzu by doing so.]

Agh-Yuzu! It's not-ooof! [The second fan cuts him off, making him catch his breath.]

It's not what-ack-what you think! Nothing happened!

[He catches himself, putting a mouth to his lips, like he's thinking.]

...Well actually, a lot of things happened...but not what you're thinking of. That didn't happen.

Like I can believe you now.

[ She grabs the horns in one hand, fingers curling around the familiar curves. It doesn't bring any comfort. ]

Nobody goes with a Fog priestess to Dyster for a social call.

[ Hurt leaves her head swimming, her body trembling, unstable, but anger keeps her moving, keeps her on her feet. It's too much to bear; once she's back in her room at the arcade, she can let herself collapse.

She staggers towards the door. ]

Well no, it wasn't a social call...more like an espionage mission...

[a what. Sawatari raises his hands, reaching out for Yuzu when she starts making her way across the room again.]

A-aaaaah, Yuzu, wait!

[ He reaches for a hand, a sleeve, some swatch of her dress, her wing, but instead his paw closes around the thin, bony stretch of tail, well above the vane. Its usual bend pulls straight, taut — it's not until it's stretched to its full length, creating resistance, that she stops in her tracks. She can't fully turn, but the limb tries to thrash loose. ]

Let go of me!

[Ha ha, shit. That wasn't what he intended to do.]

Aaa-aah, sorry, I didn't mean-agh, waaaait!

[He almost lets go of the tail, before he realizes: shit, if he lets go, he might not get a chance to clear things up.]

Awww, Yuuuuzuuu...at least lemme explain properly!

There's nothing to explain! [ The anger, the hurt, the disproportionate reaction — it's hard for her to be reasonable when her body is basically on the continuous verge of shutting down. ]

Actually, there's a lot to explain, or I wouldn't be telling you that I wanted to!

[Fine. You want disproportionate reactions? He can do that. He'll out-drama you if that's what it takes.]

Ho-nes-tly, do you think I'd do something if I didn't think it was necessary? I'm serious when I say you'll want to hear it!

Just... shut up already!

[ Her tail thrashes, yanking in his grip; her thick toe claws dig into carpet, scraping into the floorboards beneath. She's so a angry, but the memory of the last time she lost her temper with Sawatari flashes across her vision, the stain of blood on the dripping walls, the copper stench of his blood in the hallway. It's only that nausea that keeps her from kicking him outright, from getting too physical. ]

Get off me!

[He can hear it, the slight sound of the floorboards giving way all too loud in his ears, somehow more ear-piercing than Yuzu's desperate cries. It makes him dizzy, makes him feel guilty until he can't really bear it-this tension, this drama, it's wrong, all wrong, so-]

F-fine! Just...if you won't listen to me, lemme ask you something. Please.

[ It's tears, now, hot and angry. What could he possibly want to know, what could be possibly say that would make up for what he's done? Nothing, nothing. How long has he been planning this? What if it isn't recent at all, what if he's carried that key for weeks, months, simply never knowing where it led?

She turns enough that she can grab at his hands, to pry them loose from her tail. Her hands are shaking. ]

What? What can you p-possibly say now? Just— let go.

It's just one thing! Agh...

[Well, it's a lot of things, but it's also a lot of things that Yuzu doesn't want to hear. Or won't believe if she hears it. They both amount to the same thing at this point.

The fact that Yuzu's hands won't stop shaking is the only thing that keeps her from successfully prying her tail free. With how hesitantly Sawatari's holding on, he's not sure whether to see this as a blessing or a curse. All he really knows at this point is that so many of their number have drifted away this past year-one after the other after the other, and every time it happens he has to see Yuzu cry like this, and now he's seeing it again only this time she's the one vanishing from the house by her own will, and that makes things all the worse.

He doesn't want that to happen.]

Look, I...I know you and I didn't get off on the right foot way, way, waaaaaay when we first met and all, and even when we met again here, in Ryslig things were still really rocky, and we keep fighting like this on and off again because I mess up, and, er-

[Gee. He's not really building a good case for himself, is he. It's not really like his usual bumbling, dramatic speeches, either, instead it's clunky and rambling, and somehow almost frantic now that he's been caught into Yuzu's pace rather than setting his own stage. He seems to realize this, and takes a deep breath before continuing. Even so, the question comes out hesitant, softer than before.]

I mean, what I'm saying is, uh, after all this time, after everything that's happened...do...do you think that I'm...still the kind of person that would willingly...hurt you?

[It's a quiet question in stark contrast to his frantic begging from before, and after voicing it he feels awkward, unable to project his usual confidence in receiving an answer. He can't expect anything from this, this isn't a back and forth between his lackeys, or the audience, and he's not entirely sure he's going to like any of the answers she can give him.

He can't keep eye contact with her and instead looks to the floor, running one hand through his mane in a practiced, but shaky motion.]

I...if you really think that, if you say I am, then...

[He sighs, and lets both his hands drop to his sides, still not raising his head to meet her.]

I'll...I'll let go.

[ Her tail snaps free, like an irritated snake seeking cover behind the shelter of her legs. Her hands remain posed, hanging in the air between them, and it takes seconds, heartbeats for them to move, pulling back towards her chest.

She still feels nauseous, dizzy for hurt; her head is pounding, and the air in her throat is too dry. The wrong foot... what a pleasant way to put it. The Shingo she first met was just Sawatari, politician's son who insulted her school and hurt her friends, tricking Yuya into believing they could be friends just to get at his strange cards... after that it was just one time after another of trying to show Yuya up, trying to get the upper hand, trying to place himself as Yuya's "rival" ... save for protecting Yuya from further harm, nothing Sawatari had done in Maiami ever concerned Yuzu — even the time he'd "kidnapped" her had been for Yuya's sake.

It has been different here. It's been different here for a long time — possibly since the day he arrived, so long ago. Even then, it was different, but he'd done so much for her since. He always tried so hard to support her, to be there for her — to listen to her troubles and help her through her struggles, to be a support when she otherwise tried to do so many things alone. And now, with Shun gone, with Yuya gone, with so few of their friends remaining... now, of all times, wasn't he focused so much more on her?

Her arms crossed, hands tucking in against her ribs in a self-hug, a self-restraint; her wings curved inward, shrinking her appearance at the threshold when she already seemed so small. Tears still evaporated at her lashes. ]

You get cocky... you make mistakes. Thinking you wouldn't get caught....

[ A yes and a no, without saying either. But she hasn't moved from where her feet grip the floor, a fire that flickers on its steady wick. ]

[Well, his loosened grip was probably responsible for letting that happen, but he doesn't even wince when the tail is yanked free, lashing against the palm of his hand as it does so and leaving a dull stinging pain in its wake. In fact, he barely seems to notice it, instead keeping his eyes on the ground, at his feet, on his own barely moving tail, not looking up until Yuzu starts to speak again.

The answer isn't a yes or a no, so he doesn't have an immediate answer for it-if he even had one to begin with. Frankly, he doesn't even register what she said for a few minutes, only watching Yuzu get smaller (farther away? leaving? maybe), so when the words do catch up with him from what feels like an innumerable distance, it almost feels ludicrously late when they do.]

Ehehe...

[He can't help but chuckle sheepishly at those words. Even when she's on the verge of breaking down, she's that harsh, huh?]

Er, that does happen, doesn't it...? You'd think someone like Sawatari-san wouldn't get caught~, neh? [It lacks his usual bravado, but there's something light in his tone, and something familiar in the way he curls his fingers in his mane.]

But I guess that did happen...mah, that Madoka sure did catch me, huh? [He doesn't even think about how incriminating those words sound, instead finally pulling his hand out from the mane to put to his lips while his brow furrows in thought, apparently talking to himself out loud.] Or, well-technically, she caught Reira, but she caught me by proxy back then too, so I guess that's the same...

[What is he even talking about. Is he even on the same level as Yuzu at this point...?]

RYSLIG | IC INBOX

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, neonewtheatre. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 * neonewtheatre has joined 018.07.154.55 <neonewtheatre> wwelcom one and aal to my sstage. <neonewtheatre>** ill fix tthis later when my hands arnet mincmeat ok